Kahlil Gibran
subject to change
Posts tagged love
“Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But the great thing is that when we were together - for nearly twenty years - we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous — not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance. That pure chance could be so generous and so kind. That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time, that we could be together for twenty years… That is something which sustains me.
The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.
”
Carl Sagan’s widow, Ann Druyan
usually i just send a nightly catmail to my brother, but tonight i’m letting the world in on our love.
last night i dreamt that my heart chakra was burned by beams of white light reflecting off of a pool of water. the skin in the middle of my chest was hot and dark red. starting to peel.
i think it means that it’s time to dig up all those silver strings that we planted together, with fall afternoons spent picking apples at the orchard, waking up to ‘i don’t want to wait’ every single goddamn day, sitting in the bleachers at your brother’s high school football games, tied up in each other on your office chair after dinner, picking out the perfect christmas birthday card for you every year, etc. etc., ad nauseum. i’m going to dig them up like the fucking purple iris bulbs that grew out of place in the yard at home and choked out all the slate in the rock planters. i’m going to cut them all away.
i’m absolutely terrified that i’m going to let ‘us’ fall away and will never find anyone else who will love me with an intensity that i match. it’s taken me four years of repressing and forgetting and fantasizing and remembering and wishing to have come to this conclusion, but considering the seemingly endless loops of unintentional pain and hurt we cause each other, maybe that would be for the best.
