i woke up at 8:42 and laid in bed past noon today. i’ve never done that before, but that fits because i’ve never done many of the things i’ve been doing lately. going to a tailor, buying car insurance, becoming one of the regulars at my yoga studio, quitting my soccer team. i’ve also never been at the mercy of other people who will be making decisions that directly impact me, completely independent of what i want. in the next three months, depending on others’ decisions, i’ll either be jobless or i will become the youngest person in my position in my company’s history. i’ll know whether i was accepted into grad school. i will have a better idea of where my heart belongs. finally, i’m off the hook a little bit at being overwhelmed with all of the ‘well, would i be happier if i chose to do this instead’ questions, and in their place i’m being taught how to stand by, focus inward, and stay patient as i watch my life unfurl ahead of me.
