lately: very little of substance. an extended period of waiting, of devising and resetting the many countdown calendars, thoughtfully planning and preparing while not actually doing much of either. holding over until i can make the leap from this chapter to the next, the corporate world to bali to grad school, and hoping that the future will indeed turn out to be the way that i envision it will be whie wondering how it won’t.
lots of sitting. not enough movement, or yoga, or running, or activity of any sort. which is amy-code for eating too much chocolate and finding it later in the texture of the skin on my thigh, or in the ease in which i can pull my knees to my chest when i read on the couch. too much texture and not enough ease.
apathy. my inner pragmatist’s weapon against the excitement of what’s coming. i can’t find a way to express my enthusiasm for what’s next and so, my mind chooses not to feel much of it, not all at once anyway, although i do get little whiffs of it from time to time and my heart starts to beat harder and i find myself suddenly staring off into the distance, remembering the smell of incense burning and the sunlight and the heat and how it all seemed familiar somehow. or at least, i wasn’t scared.
“This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals—sounds that say listen to this, it is important.” — Gary Provost (via danceabletragedy)
[video]
(Source: roughhoney, via noordinarysoul)
“Everyone’s gonna love you.”
“You think so?”
“Absolutely.”
“Why’s that?”
“You’ve got aura.”
“You think so?”
“Absolutely.”